A Desperate Decision -Redo
by lancer365
Summary: After Kuvira returns to Zaofu, Suyin finds her limits pushed to a point of no return. Unable to handle what Kuvira has become, she makes a rash decision, using the guise of saving Zaofu to mask her true intentions. But was her ultimate decision the right one? (Story redone and updated ;))


**Author's Note:**

Just a quick redo, but it's a lot longer than it was.

* * *

_**A Desperate Decision**_

Ironic isn't it. That it had come to this…

Suyin, hovering over Kuvira with her hands around her throat. Her knees pressing into the younger woman's thighs preventing her escape. Suyin was silent; squeezing as hard as she could. Tears ran down her face, falling onto the struggling woman below. This wasn't just for Zaofu, but for herself. No more would the woman haunt her dreams or waking thoughts. She had convinced herself that the _only_ way she could live without her was by _force_.

For too long she had suppressed her feelings and it was beginning to drive her mad. Sleep hardly came easy anymore, and after Kuvira had left everything got worse. Maybe that's what this was, a lack of sleep driving her to thoughtless actions. Whatever it was, Suyin didn't want to think. Thinking was dangerous, and the reason why she was where she was.

So she emptied her mind.

And now, as hard as it was looking into the eyes below her, Suyin couldn't look away. She wanted to watch as every last second pulled Kuvira further and further away from life…and away from her. Staring down into those deep green eyes that said so much, she could only imagine that Kuvira was asking her "Why?" more than anything. Suyin would've asked herself the same thing, but her mind had gone numb to the world around her; even forgetting about the sons she'd left outside; not wanting them to witness just how personal this was. She ignored the hands that were desperately clawing and grabbing at her, beginning to leave marks.

Kuvira's dying gaze switched from hate, to a final sadness, before they went blank.

Time stopped as the hands that were gripping onto Suyin's shirt fell limp; one hanging over the side of the bed. It must have been too painful to watch, as Suyin never realized she had closed her eyes. But now the only thing she saw were a lifeless pair of eyes looking back. Her hands lingered a moment longer where they lay loosely wrapped around Kuvira's throat. The life rearing pulse…was gone.

Now Kuvira was nothing more than a body within her grasp.

Suyin ran an unsteady hand over Kuvira's face, closing her eyes in the process. That same hand then traipsed down to the Great Uniter's lips. No rhythm of breath warmed the flesh of her fingers this time, as her mind echoed the three words she'd never said, and now never would. Leaning down, the final act of love she could give was a chaste kiss, softly placed on Kuvira's forehead.

Steeling her jaw Suyin forced herself up, sitting back on her heels right above Kuvira's knees.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, holding it longer than she should have. The tightening suffocation Suyin felt growing in her chest, was _nothing_ compared to what she had just put Kuvira through.

Running a shaky hand through her hair, Suyin let that breath go.

She hung her head; her eyes connecting with the light colored fabric of Kuvira's pants beneath her own legs, contrasting with the dark ones she wore. Suyin had heard rumors of Kuvira's prison camps and some of the lives lost under her reign. But ironically, whether or not those rumors were true, she was the one who now stood as death's bringer; taking the life of her very own guard.

Suyin stumbled off the bed and walked, lingering on every footstep to the middle of the room. For a moment all she could do was stand. There were no rationalizing questions in her head asking if what she'd done was right. No thoughts, No conscience, No voices. Right now, in this moment there was nothing but silence.

Shut down from herself and her emotions, Suyin had the perfect opportunity to leave. She could have easily walked out of the room, telling her sons that the mission had been accomplished. But she made **one** grave mistake…

She turned around.

Looking at Kuvira's motionless body brought her back to reality. In shock, her eyes opened wide comprehending what she'd done. Horrid emotions flooded her mind as she slowly staggered to the nearest wall of the darkened room. With a quivering hand Suyin covered her mouth and leaned her forehead against the metal wall; placing her other hand against it for support.

Without realizing that the metal beneath her fingers was beginning to warp, she slid down and started to cry.

**-Extra **(If you really want it)**-**

'_What have I done?'_

Suyin breathed out an erratic breath and stood, dragging herself back up the wall. She wasn't thinking of the **_murder_** the leader of Zaofu had just committed, but of _who_ she had killed.

"_Don't leave me this time."_

Hearing Kuvira's voice, Suyin gave a raw smile. "Dead bodies don't speak." She turned her head, forcing her gaze back over to Kuvira. What she was hoping for she knew wouldn't happen. There was no second chance this time.

Kuvira was gone, but her mind wouldn't allow her to accept it. "It's all in my head."

Pushing herself from the wall, Suyin moved back over to the bed in silence.

She loved silence; fascinated by how such a vague thing had so many colorful facets. It spoke volumes even when nothing was said. It had the power to heal with time, or leave things broken as they were for years. Suyin knew that all too well when it came to Lin. But silence also had an endearing effect; saying the things that didn't need to be spoken. She'd had plenty of those moments with Kuvira, enough to learn to appreciate them.

The guard never said much, but her eyes did.

Yet, as Suyin walked across the floor with slow rolling footsteps, a new kind of silence found its way under her skin. A deadly kind, she could almost feel. It sent chills down her back, as the lonely sorrows she'd felt moments ago turned into debilitating thoughts. It didn't take long for her mind to work against her, throwing every remembrance of Kuvira and every moment they'd shared, at her with an unforgiving strength.

Suyin climbed back onto the bed and sat.

Grabbing the fabric of Kuvira's shirt, she pulled the dead weight into her arms. Her eyes filling with tears as she held the former guard to her, supporting the head that did nothing but fall back limp every time she'd let go. Those same tears fell, dropping onto the shoulders Suyin gripped, after her hand ran across the cold skin of Kuvira's neck.

She still wasn't thinking. Not about what everyone would say. Not about the _**hate**_ Bataar Jr. would have for her. And not about how she'd cover things up…if she could. Her only thoughts were of Kuvira, and nothing else mattered.

Suyin laid the Great Uniter in her lap, stroking her hair softly. "I want you to wake up."

With vacant eyes she gazed down at Kuvira's face, noticing the lifeless color to her skin as fate took its hold, dragging her into the darkness she had created.

It was _very_ ironic, that somebody could kill a person they loved.


End file.
